How the Art of Pampering Can Improve Your Self-Esteem

Most women, from the time they were little girls, were raised to be caretakers. We learned early on that we should be sweet, play nice, and put others first. While the boys around us were playing cops and robbers, we were busy playing house. We were taking care of our dolls and cooking dinner for our imaginary husbands. It is no surprise that we then grow up feeling like we have to put everybody’s needs before our own.

It usually takes two incomes to survive financially these days. Yet, when you talk to women who are working full-time, they will usually tell you that they are pulling double duty. While their husbands come home ready to relax for the evening, the women are coming home to start their second shift. Dinner has to be made, dishes washed, homework checked, and laundry for the next day needs to get done.

As women, what are we teaching our children? We must realize that we can’t be good role models if we can’t learn to take care of ourselves. We want our daughters to learn to have self-respect, and we want our sons to learn to treat women well. This starts with the examples that we set.

We may expect that our angelic qualities will eventually pay off for us. We wait for that special day to come when everybody treats us like a queen for being such a giving mom and wife. Then we become bitter as time goes by and that day never comes.

When my son was small, I used to take him to the library every week. One of the books on the suggested reading list was The Giving Tree, a short story written by Shel Silverstein. It was written in 1964, but is still popular today. I checked out the book, and that night we climbed into bed to read the story.

It was about the relationship between a little boy and a tree. The boy would eat the tree’s apples and swing from her branches, which made the tree happy. But as the boy grew older, he wanted more and more from the tree. In order to make the boy happy, the tree ends up giving the boy all of her apples to sell, all of her branches to build a house, and eventually her trunk to build a boat and sail away. As long as the boy was happy, the tree was happy too.

At the end of the story, the boy, now an old man, returns to the tree who has nothing left but her stump. She feels bad because she has nothing left to give. She ends up offering her stump for the old man to sit on, which in turn makes her happy.

When I finished reading the story I remember thinking, that is one codependent tree. I was unsure of the message intended. Was the author trying to teach our children that this is what love is all about?

While I did not find it to be a good example of love or of giving, the story stuck with me, and I do think it has a great lesson attached to it — if you give and give of yourself, without ever asking for or expecting anything in return, eventually you will be nothing but a dead old stump.

As women we deserve to be pampered. You don’t have to wait for an outside source to give you what you deserve. When you start treating yourself as special, you will then be teaching the other people in your life how to treat you. This doesn’t mean that you are supposed to become a self-centered prima donna. But you will find, that when you start giving yourself the attention you deserve, your self-esteem flourishes.

What do you consider pampering? Have you always dreamed of being treated to a hot stone massage? Is the idea of having your own personal trainer appealing to you? Is enjoying brunch with close friends at an outdoor more your style? If you could enjoy pampering in any way that you desire, what would it be?

Now what’s stopping you? Is it money? If so, then it’s time to start your own pampering fund. Every chance you get, keep adding to your fund until there is enough money to treat yourself. It is amazing how quickly loose change can add up! Just be careful to keep your pampering fund somewhere safe unless you want your money disappearing before you ever get the chance to use it.

There are also tons of inexpensive ways to feel pampered without ever having to worry about money. Here are some ideas for pampering without breaking the bank:

-Give yourself an at-home manicure and pedicure. You can even have a pampering party. Get your friends together and take turns polishing each others nails. Each person can bring their supplies, and you can have fun trying out the different products.

-Turn your bath time into a spa experience. Play some soft music. Light a few candles. Make yourself a “Do Not Disturb” sign, and tell your family that you are to be left alone for the next hour. As you lie in your bath, imagine that the warm water is melting away all of your cares, leaving you peaceful and radiant.

-While washing your hair, give yourself a relaxing head massage just like they do in the salons. Work up a good lather, pretend your hands belong to somebody else, and enjoy as you rub your scalp, neck, and shoulders. What an easy way to pamper yourself every day.

-Get a free makeover at the department store. This is a great idea, as long as you are not a person who gets sold easily. Their job is to sell you the products. You should set yourself a budget (perhaps twenty dollars) to spend on one of the products — this should alleviate any guilt.

-Barter services. Perhaps you know a massage therapist. Is there a service you can provide to barter with? Babysitting services are always a great swap. Maybe you can watch her kids on a Saturday night if she will give you a massage on Sunday. The same thing works great for hairstylists, or any other beauty service you can think of.

-Have a potluck with your friends and enjoy an afternoon of eating and sharing each others company. You can even spend the day at a park. That way nobody feels that they have to play host.

Don’t lose sight of the simple ways to pamper every day, such as taking a few minutes to meditate or sit in silence, allowing yourself some time to read, or going to bed an hour early in order to get some extra rest. Make it a point each and every day to do something that is just for you. Something meant to feed your own spirit and soul.

Putting yourself at the top of the list may feel uncomfortable at first. Maybe you can’t even remember the last time you did something just for you. The important thing is to start taking steps toward this new attitude. Taking care of yourself is not just about pampering yourself physically, it is about treating yourself with the respect that you deserve. As you do, the people in your life will follow suit.

Don’t make the mistake of living you life in a supporting role. Our time here is fleeting. If you put your own desires aside, waiting for the right timing, your chance for personal fulfillment may come and go. This is your life. You are in the leading role. It is time to live it like the star that you are!

Fun Slumber Party Ideas For Young Girls

Sleepovers are a favorite choice for girls of any age, but finding slumber party ideas that will keep young guests entertained can feel like a daunting task. Whether your girls are 6 or 16, the key is planning enough activities to keep the fun level high and to ward off the dreaded whines of boredom.

For most girls, slumber parties are an opportunity to get together and socialize with friends. They are about pillow fights, romantic movies, and truth or dare generously peppered with giggles, gossip, and silly stories. They are a time to confide, confess, and commiserate. Friendships are strengthened, secrets are shared, and the world’s problems are solved.

Whether your sleepover follows a theme or is simply a fun gathering, slumber parties are a rite of passage – a memorable stepping stone into womanhood that every little girl dreams about. Planning the perfect party is akin to choosing the perfect prom dress because everyone knows that the memories will live on forever in scrapbooks, memory boxes, and in the hearts of girls everywhere.


Your theme can dictate the style of your invitation or you can simply choose something fun and unique. Wrap your invite around a toothbrush, tube of toothpaste, or hairbrush. Attach the party details to a pair of slippers, a mini pillow, or a sleep mask. For a Hollywood theme, use a disposable camera or a popular celebrity magazine. If your party will be a camp-out, print the invitation on a flashlight, or use a bottle of bubble bath for a spa theme.


Making creative keepsake crafts are always a popular choice and guests will have a memento to remember their exciting evening. Decorate pillowcases, t-shirts, tote bags, bulletin boards, or picture frames. Make friendship bracelets, memory boxes, or fancy pillows.

For a Hollywood theme, have the girls give each other glamor make-overs and then show off their star quality by making their own movie or having a karaoke contest. Make the guests feel like true celebrities by renting a room at at fancy hotel, complete with swimming pool and room service. Enhance your camp-out with a scavenger hunt, flashlight limbo, or a glow-in-the-dark dance. Or pamper the girls with luxury spa treatments and an elegant meal. Of course, no slumber party would be complete without the obligatory movie – scary or romantic – lots and lots of food, and late night hours of whispered conversation and giggles.


The next morning, greet the girls with a cheery breakfast, including plenty of options to please every palette, and then send guests off with a small token to thank them for being part of your party. Flashlights, nightlights, nail polish, makeup, earrings, personalized cell phone skins, and music cds are great ideas that every girl will love. Make copies of photos taken throughout the party and create a scrapbook for each guest, or find a unique picture frame for each girl and include a special photo.

With a little creativity and a lot of help from the young hostess, you can find fun slumber party ideas that everyone will love.

Organizing a Party

Party planning is so much fun. If you are enthusiastic and have the patience you can go all out and plan something different. You can organise a theme party for your 4 year old, a sports party for your husband or just treat your girlfriends to a pamper party! Here are a few tips to make sure your party is the talk of the town.

While planning a party the first thing to consider is the occasion. For example, a birthday party is different from a hen’s party! The things you need and the ideas you have will quite obviously, be different for both.

o Where are you planning to have the party? If you are thinking of a venue like a club or banquet hall then you must consider the availability of the venue, rent of the place, seating capacity and what time you need to wind up. Some venues have their in house caterer or tie — ups with other caterers so look into that as well, you also need to find out about corkage on alcohol.

o If you are thinking of having the party at home, make sure the space is big enough the fit all your guests. Inform your neighbors about the party so that they have no objection to the music and sound. If you have troublesome neighbors, invite them as well! It’s an age old trick!

o Think of the food you are going to serve. If you are looking at elaborate seven course meal then you will need some help for sure. A kid’s party doesn’t need an elaborate menu but you can try fun things like sandwiches and muffins! If you are hosting a sports or poker party all you need is easy finger food and beer!

o Invite your guests well in advance and give them a reminder a before the party. If you are sending out invites make sure you address them carefully and post them well in advance so they reach your guests in time. Include RSVP cards so you have a proper head count.

o Music is an important part of any event so compile a good playlist or hire a good DJ if the budget allows it. Good music is the key to a great party.

o If you want to try something different you can opt for a pamper party. Where you can chill out at home with the girls and have a great spa day. If your teenager is having a party for her friends suggest a pamper party for her friends and her. They can dress up, model and have a great party.